sometimes is try to escape, escape the world I’m in, escape all my worries and problems. and if i try hard enoug i maybe i forget everything for some seconds, and it just feels so good to just escape it. not having to worry about a little thing, not having to fit in every second of the day. since i cant escape the way i used to, i try to imagine being somewhere else, some place where im not the girl whos comepletly alone at night, whos afraid of being alone, where Im not the girl without any real friends. I try and imagine I’m okay.
those second i actually am okay. but then it takes me back, back to my worries and back to my problems. back to the broken girl.
If someone asks me about my worries or my problems, i cant really answer that because its somewhere deep down in my head sometimes i dont understand it. if someone trys and talks to me ill play it off because i cant explain to you why i feel this way, its just is the way it is.
and those things at school, to other people the things they say might just be some stupid thing. its not like they do it the whole time or every single day, but when there is a thing that someone says, just a tiny thing, then it can ruin my whole day. they maybe forget it after some minutes, but i dont.
i might not look broke to other people and sometimes i dont look broken to myself, but moments like this moments when i escape and then come back make me realise that i am broken.
i may not be unhappy every single hour of the day, and yes i am happy alot. but every single day there is at least a little bit of time wasted thinking and worrying. ill let you guys know if there is a day without me worrying.